Dik's Ravings
Dik Saalfeld '80
Washington correspondent
Spring 2013

Greetings, fellow Imperialists! Join me in welcoming our new colony. I hope we can exploit many natural resources before the winds of revolution blow thrů Wait. Foreign Service Officer Tom "Yaz" Yazdgerdi informs me that this is not what is meant by "colony" in the situation at hand, namely, the re-colonization of the Pike chapter. This changes everything, as I had planned to survey our realm, riding crop in hand, and determine how best to further expand our empire, even if we just expand it to include that parking lot behind Young Israel that we used for decades until the University figured out that we didn't actually own it. Apparently "dibs" is not an acceptable canon of property law.

Tom Berg, Brian Pickerall, me, and our respective spouses attended a concert in northern Virginia performed by the Cornell University Chorus, an all-female choral ensemble. They all looked to be about 12, but Tom and Pick, parents of young adult women, although fortunately not the same ones, inform me that the ladies were all college age. The concert was in Falls Church, an early 18th century sanctuary replete with ancient burying ground, that is now incongruously nestled amongst modern roads, garages, tattoo parlors, and chain restaurants, sort of like spats on sneakers.

Paul Wessel was in town a few weeks ago. Despite being a wealthy New York lawyer, Paul prefaced his attempts to cadge free food and lodging by asking, in a text message, "do you have bacon?" Positive responses prompted follow-up questions involving the state of guest rooms, as well as beer supplies. He has two kids at Cornell, with another on deck. Maybe he's not as rich as I thought.

Andy Bjork recruited me to provide copy for a book he's writing on pub crawls. I'm supposed to write about pubs in my neighborhood, Georgetown, but the sad truth is that I haven't been to pubs in years. I'm weeks late with my material, mostly because I hit the sack at 10, which, apparently, is prime pub crawling time, so research will have to wait until I get permission to change my bedtime. This from the man who knew all the after-hours places in Ithaca and surroundings, and could party all night with the best of them, back in those halcyon days of yore.

My wife and I went to Antarctica recently. We saw about 43 squillion penguins. They're like squirrels down there. Penguins feed their chicks through regurgitation, and they poop lustily. You can sail down the coast of the Antarctic peninsula and find the rookeries by smell from miles away. In other travel news, Nate Rudgers and his wife just got back from the Galapagos. But don't feel inadequate! I hear Elmira is pretty this time of year. Also, going to Wegmans can be adventurous, especially if you're still taking those pills that require you to know where the whizzer is at all times. Yes, you are an International Man of Mystery! That's why we bid you. Also, you were good for dues and a hefty beer tab.

At dinner with some Cornellians recently, I pointed out that I have met people from both classes of '07. The meetings, of course, were decades apart, but it still gives one an interesting perspective, from horse buggies to Priuses, from inkwells to iPads.