Dik's Ravings

Dik Saalfeld '80
European correspondent

Hugh Gibbs had two emergency operations in April: one on his bowel, and one on his stomach. As of this writing, he is still hospitalized in intensive care at Tompkins County Hospital. As you recall, he had a pacemaker installed two years ago, and his heart did not respond well to the strain of recent operations. He is unable to take calls, as the combination of medications causes him to be woozy.

Gibber is 76 years old, and he enjoyed good health until recently. The sudden breakdown of various parts of his body has left him depressed; the news that he may have to wear a colostomy bag was not well-received. If he is unable to manage taking care of himself, he may have to go to a nursing home when he is released from the hospital.

I was with him after both operations and have monitored his progress, but I am moving to the Republic of Macedonia for a year and will be unable to visit him as regularly as I have over the years. If you wish to check on his condition, call the main switchboard at TCH -- they may only give you sketchy information, as their policy is to only discuss patients with kin. I told them I was his nephew, but I'm not sure how often this would work.

Tim Cole, Alumni Corporation President, has ended his long tenure in the dateless club as well as, frankly, some very rude speculation. He got married. If you call his home telephone number, his wife is on the answering machine message. This bodes ill. Women will do that to you. First, it's control of little things, like the phone, then goes your freedom and your you-know-whats. I've had plenty of girlfriends in my time, and believe me, I've learned some hard lessons. But I've perfected my technique. Now, when women start encroaching on my lifestyle too much, I merely say "Dear, sweetest, honey bumpkins, sugar lips, we have to talk". Then I move to a small, obscure eastern European country. Which is where I am right now. Macedonia. Nestled between Albania, Serbia, Bulgaria, and Greece. Write to me care of NDI, 1717 Massachusetts Avenue NW, Washington DC 20036, and they'll pouch your letter over to me.